Your wife is bored of you, you're bored of her. But you're comfortable, right? Occasionally, does she let you touch her? But you think of me all the while. You sneak around behind her back, buying my clips, obsessing over my tweets and dreaming of worshipping me in person. You jerk off in secret, fantasising about my perfect body. Does your wife suspect? She must do! What if I told her? I think I willl... if you don't pay Me to keep quiet!

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