{"count":1,"clips":[{"id":297248,"active":true,"slug":"daily-procrasturbation-guidelines","category":{"id":11,"name":"joi","nameFirstCap":"Joi","slug":"joi"},"title":"DAILY PROCRASTURBATION GUIDELINES","description":"

Bringing you the latest headlines from the Newsroom.

Katherine Kendal reports.

Procrasturbation trend to see significant rise in coming weeks. New strict guidelines have been issued for the male population to follow.

We go to the UK Procrasturbation Correspondent - Anna Elite - for more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tired of newsreaders bringing you nothing but bad news? Put a little mojo back in the media with this tongue-in-cheek JOI.

Follow the guidelines and stroke along.

Your country needs YOU!

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