Not only is the handyman I called to fix my light late, when he does show up, he doesn't even have the right tools to fix my lamp. I'm fed up and his rude customer service earns him a swift kick to the nuts. I throw him on the bed and proceed to trample and walk all over him, in both my heels and bare feet.

I stand on his head as I sip on my beverage. I trample both his back and chest as I chastise him for his incompetency. I sit on his chest and dig my heels into his groin as he squirms around beneath me. Finally I call another company as I'm sitting on him. What a nimrod!!