Another Valentine's Day, alone, unloved, unfucked. Poor, pathetic little loser!

Lucky for you, I've found someone to set you up with! Someone in your league, even... My lush, hairy armpits!

Worship them. Smell them, lick them, love them. Date them like your life depends on it, because, well, it does!

And don't forget to thank Me for so generously setting you up.

The viewer is assumed to have a penis. Gender neutral.

Another Valentine's Day, alone, unloved, unfucked. Poor, pathetic little loser!

Lucky for you, I've found someone to set you up with! Someone in your league, even... My lush, hairy armpits!

Worship them. Smell them, lick them, love them. Date them like your life depends on it, because, well, it does!

And don't forget to thank Me for so generously setting you up.

The viewer is assumed to have a penis. Gender neutral.