Step right up, loser! I know how lonely those nights must feel, and golly, do I have a solution for you!

I have four beautiful, eligible candidates to sample to find your perfect match. They may be...unconventional, but I'm confident that this little game will help you find the one.

You're going to need to gather some very special materials:
A pillow
A bottle of shampoo
A reasonably full jar of peanut butter, mayonnaise, or similar
A trash can

One by one, I will allow you to test your compatibility with each of your potential girlfriends, encouragi...

Step right up, loser! I know how lonely those nights must feel, and golly, do I have a solution for you!

I have four beautiful, eligible candidates to sample to find your perfect match. They may be...unconventional, but I'm confident that this little game will help you find the one.

You're going to need to gather some very special materials:
A pillow
A bottle of shampoo
A reasonably full jar of peanut butter, mayonnaise, or similar
A trash can

One by one, I will allow you to test your compatibility with each of your potential girlfriends, encouraging you to rub against them, to speak sweet nothings to them, to treat them like the ladies they are. Then, you'll choose your favourite contestant to be your new girlfriend, making sweet, sweet love to her to your utterly humiliating completion.

I sure hope you can last long enough to test all four...it's sure to be the most erotic, romantic experience of your life!

The viewer is assumed to have a penis. Gender neutral.