Your pecker has always been a problem – controlling your moods, desires, and actions. You've experienced a little too much pleasure from it. You've acted like a fool because of it.

So today, instead of jerking off like you usually do, we will be retraining you away from the hedonistic desire. Today's jerking off will be painful. CBT and ballbusting. You're going to associate your masturbation habits with something a little less than pleasurable, and it will be for the better for womankind. You'll jerk off and bust.