My date was more than a few minutes late and I was... how shall I say... mad as hell. I'd been looking forward not only to a free meal (I know I'm diabolical) but to a, uh, sweaty sex session!! But, again, he was late and I was mad as hell. While waiting I called my girlfriend, hoping her familiar voice would send my frustration into remission. It didn't! The pinecone I pulverised with my feet, on the other hand, calmed my nerves completely. If only the cone had been my tardy date's balls!!