Dressed up smartly to address the other members of the board, I'm so excited to announce the new security system going live in our flagship store today. I've actually tested it, and it's about to switch on in 1 minute! Yesterday, I 'stole' some clothes from the store, and once our system is switched on, the anti-theft technology will - well, I'm not quite sure actually. Sound an alarm or something, I assume! Let's all count down! Oh, nothing seems to have happened; perhaps it's not switched on yet after all. But hang on, what's my right hand doing? It seems to be intent on removing my cashm...

Dressed up smartly to address the other members of the board, I'm so excited to announce the new security system going live in our flagship store today. I've actually tested it, and it's about to switch on in 1 minute! Yesterday, I 'stole' some clothes from the store, and once our system is switched on, the anti-theft technology will - well, I'm not quite sure actually. Sound an alarm or something, I assume! Let's all count down! Oh, nothing seems to have happened; perhaps it's not switched on yet after all. But hang on, what's my right hand doing? It seems to be intent on removing my cashmere cardigan?? And OMG! It just pulled up my skirt, giving you a glimpse of my stocking tops! I am so sorry, I can't think what's wrong. What? You think this might be the security system in action? Surely not! If so, I might end up stripping off in front of you all! Oh my GOD! I think that's EXACTLY what's about to happen!