How dare you just barge into my house? What a RIDICULOUS accusation - of course I'm not involved in women; are you mad? Well yes, I do have sex toys all over the floor, but they're all for PERSONAL USE! I would NEVER anyone with an anal hook, how dare you!

Dressed in silk scarf, cardigan, modest 50's style dress and high heels, I look every inch the respectable lady. So WHY won't you believe me when I say I've not been doing anything dreadful, I've just been enjoying myself behind closed doors. Why is that so hard to understand? Look, if you don't believe me, I'll just have to slip...

How dare you just barge into my house? What a RIDICULOUS accusation - of course I'm not involved in women; are you mad? Well yes, I do have sex toys all over the floor, but they're all for PERSONAL USE! I would NEVER anyone with an anal hook, how dare you!

Dressed in silk scarf, cardigan, modest 50's style dress and high heels, I look every inch the respectable lady. So WHY won't you believe me when I say I've not been doing anything dreadful, I've just been enjoying myself behind closed doors. Why is that so hard to understand? Look, if you don't believe me, I'll just have to slip on my handcuffs and show you what I'm wearing under my skirt; that's right! A dildo AND a butt plug! AND I love giving blowjobs! Surely, if we can just put this silly investigation to bed, we can have a lot more fun doing something else....