We're 22 minutes into the live show and I'm trying my best to manage the level of discomfort I'm feeling. If I try and shift my weight from one knee to the other, I'll only end up hurting something else, so the best thing for me to do is remain as still as possible. Martin keeps me in this same position until he knows I'm broken and I'm not broken until I'm in a full-fledged cry and in my own saliva. And now that I've surpassed that point, Martin unties me and takes me straight to the chair where he ties me up again. www.