Tonight was very difficult for me. Martin had me straddling a dildo on the saw in 6" heels. My throat was noosed to the ceiling and my elbows were crushed behind my back. Once my ankles were pulled back and tied to the legs of the, I was put into a very awkward position that I had an extremely hard time maintaining. I was crying and sweating in a matter of minutes. I knew I hadn't been roped very long so I had to mentally get myself together to endure the pain but every so often, I start feeling it again. It was like a constant battle to love or hate my predicament.