Those who are familiar with our live shows know that 99% of the time, I never know what to expect. I like it that way. But this time, I knew how Martin was going to tie me because he told me. Ever since he told me, I was excited and eager for the show on Friday. Then, when Friday came around and Martin put me in that position he told me about... being in it was a completely different story! And the collapse happened very quickly too! I wore a pair of skin-tight tights, sky-high platform heels and a lacey bra. My mouth was ball gagged, my arms were box tied and I was wearing a very tight cro...

Those who are familiar with our live shows know that 99% of the time, I never know what to expect. I like it that way. But this time, I knew how Martin was going to tie me because he told me. Ever since he told me, I was excited and eager for the show on Friday. Then, when Friday came around and Martin put me in that position he told me about... being in it was a completely different story! And the collapse happened very quickly too! I wore a pair of skin-tight tights, sky-high platform heels and a lacey bra. My mouth was ball gagged, my arms were box tied and I was wearing a very tight crotch rope. Martin attached my arms to the ceiling first, then looped a piece of rope connecting my chest to my knees and brought me down as low as I could go. While my upper body is being pulled by my knees, Martin goes back to the rope that secures me to the ceiling and lifts me higher! Picking my heels up off the ground. That was the moment I fell apart. When it happened, I wanted to tap already but I pushed through the pain anyway. It took a little bit to get use to it but I did. Then, when my hair was tied to my arms, I knew I had a while to go and went into my own sort of "concentration mode" where I redirect my focus on my breathing, slow my crying and do everything I can as to not exhaust myself. Some times are easier than others. The harder I concentrate, the longer I last and the more steady I stand. Any time I lose focus, I stumble or get off balance. I lift one leg and try to prop myself up higher on the other, then switch back to the other foot. Whether I thoroughly enjoy something or struggle with it, I love that it's always a challenge and Martin can do anything and everything he wants with me!