I passed the ability to do housecleaning over 200 pounds ago. But you're so mean watching me do it with a scooter which I need now that you've fattened me to this massive size.

I vacuum and struggle to mop with my tired, flabby arms. I'm wheezing and tired even without getting up - I need a snack to fill my empty belly when I'm done and then it's back to lazing about