I know exactly how to take care of everything.. no more worrying or anxiety on your part. All you have to do is listen and obey. It’s really a simple task. Your health isn’t great, you’re in a lot of debt, your family is in a constant state of disappointment... ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR LIFE CHOICES. But don’t worry, here is where I come in to save you and your family from all this suffering. My plan will relieve the burden you’re putting on everyone in your life. There couldn’t be a more perfect ending to your pathetic loser life. And don’t worry, I’m gracious enough to make sure you sign this c...

I know exactly how to take care of everything.. no more worrying or anxiety on your part. All you have to do is listen and obey. It’s really a simple task. Your health isn’t great, you’re in a lot of debt, your family is in a constant state of disappointment... ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR LIFE CHOICES. But don’t worry, here is where I come in to save you and your family from all this suffering. My plan will relieve the burden you’re putting on everyone in your life. There couldn’t be a more perfect ending to your pathetic loser life. And don’t worry, I’m gracious enough to make sure you sign this contract so that everything is agreed upon and all your loved ones are taken care of. I really couldn’t be more thoughtful and you couldn’t be more fortunate to have ME help you along. Just do as I say... soon you’ll be slipping into indisposed and everyone will be so much better off without you... FOREVER.