I'm talking with you casually, my friend, and admit I'm constipated and have to go. I'm enjoying our chat though so why not come with?

I keep chatting with you, telling a story of another time I used the toilet in a public bathroom where there were no doors. I was just as constipated then, I sat for a long time making a lot of noise and smell but producing nothing.

We keep chatting as I strain on the toilet and complain about the smell - I even show you that it's stuck halfway and notice that you don't seem grossed out - weirdo!

I flush and wipe and courtesy flush...

I'm talking with you casually, my friend, and admit I'm constipated and have to go. I'm enjoying our chat though so why not come with?

I keep chatting with you, telling a story of another time I used the toilet in a public bathroom where there were no doors. I was just as constipated then, I sat for a long time making a lot of noise and smell but producing nothing.

We keep chatting as I strain on the toilet and complain about the smell - I even show you that it's stuck halfway and notice that you don't seem grossed out - weirdo!

I flush and wipe and courtesy flush throughout the audio and really talk about what we see and smell while we hang out in the bathroom and you wait for me to finish.

I've placed a picture of me from a photoshoot to look at while you listen and inspire your imagination ;P