I’m always open to accepting new slaves to my stable of servants. They have to be truly devoted to their addiction to worship me, so I expect absolutely no whining for whatever I demand of you. Most of my new initiates have to demonstrate their loyalty by handling the dirty and nastiest tasks, like serving as my toilet. I know you aren’t man enough to eat my chocolatey mush, but you need to be trained if you want to fully commit yourself to my cult. Welcome to the Cult of Lynch!

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