What are slaves good for? Doing whatever I say whenever I say so! You see, I have “slaves” all over the world. Losers everywhere claiming they are my most devout slave, they are devoted to me, blah blah blah. But I don’t know who these assholes are? I know who my slaves actually are because they do what I say and serve me. So, do you really want to call yourself a slave, then I have a list of things for you to do to prove yourself to me...

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