I'm ready to go. I'm all dressed up. I'm just not feeling that good. I don't know, whatever I ate this morning just made me feel really bad. I'm so sorry. I'm so excited for our lunch today, but I'm just feeling so bad. This is so embarrassing. I have a lot of gas.

What?!? You like that? That turns you on? That's like the weirdest thing I've ever heard. How have we been together so long and you've never told me you have a fart fetish?

You want me to fart in your face?!? Honestly, that's ridiculous. You're fucking weird. I guess... I'll fart in your face.