As I am 'stuck' in Italy I wanted to give you an update about the situation. So I took an Italian model who doesn't speak English at all and tricked her into getting on the table.
As I explain you the situation she smiles all the time and lets me oil her up thinking it's for a photo shoot, not understanding what I'm saying. At some point she gets a bit bored and feels something is wrong, so she starts to protest. Time for the apple in mouth, get the rope out and open the oven! I'll be back