Today, I was a very lazy house pet. I didn't do my laundry or my chores. I did dress up cute, but it wasn't enough to spare me from having my ass smacked.

My master/feeder, sadist that he is, likes to mount me like a horse and ride me around the room. Unfortunately for him, I'm pretty much useless for riding with the weight I've put on recently. But he mounts me just the same and we go for a ride.