My bad habits are getting worse.

It's been five months since I've gone to the gym. Every weekend, I intend on getting a new gym membership. And every weekend, my feeder and I go out to eat. We come back home with bags and bags of food: leftovers, desserts, snacks, candies and sugary drinks. There are no more "good" days and "cheat" days. Every day now is spent overeating. Especially in the evenings- when my cravings for food are the strongest. Sometimes, I'll be good all day, but when I'm with my feeder I feel like it's alright to gorge myself. Of course, sometimes I binge during ...

My bad habits are getting worse.

It's been five months since I've gone to the gym. Every weekend, I intend on getting a new gym membership. And every weekend, my feeder and I go out to eat. We come back home with bags and bags of food: leftovers, desserts, snacks, candies and sugary drinks. There are no more "good" days and "cheat" days. Every day now is spent overeating. Especially in the evenings- when my cravings for food are the strongest. Sometimes, I'll be good all day, but when I'm with my feeder I feel like it's alright to gorge myself. Of course, sometimes I binge during the day and try to hide the evidence before he gets home.

My stamina is in decline.

Cleaning around the house is harder. I can't put on my shoes without sitting down first. And, even then, I can't breathe when I'm bent over, because my belly is too big. Stairs are the worst. And it's never been easier for my feeder to overpower me when we're rolling around in bed.

I haven't been trying to gain weight. I really haven't. But I'm 5 pounds heavier now than I was in December. And I'm even heavier with a full rack of ribs in my belly. This is a truly gluttonous stuffing. Grease and BBQ sauce dripping from my lips. Burps escaping from my heavy gut, between sips of sparkling cider. I'm such a mess right now.