You might still be in denial, and I think it's time to work through that denial. Spending money makes you happy, spending money on me gives you euphoria. It's so taboo to you, not wanting to admit that you get so much pleasure from pumping out the rest of your paycheck over to me, but it's the reality. You love seeing your spare money in your bank account drain from purchases and tributes and gifts toward me. You love seeing that number drop to zero for me. It makes you feel good.