How can your giant step-dad be smart enough to invent a shrink ray, and dumb enough to use it on you without having a grow ray? The same way he can be a big enough idiot to think you still like playing with little green army men. He figures that since you're tiny now, it's his job to amuse you. So he gets you a bag of army men from the store. Fuck your life. Does he even know you're a senior? This is so embarrassing. He's trying to play with you, and you just want to disappear. Please, Step-Dad, if we're out in public, just walk like 20 feet behind me.

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