Can your giant step-dad get any more laughable? He wants to make amends for shrinking you and being mean to you, so he figured the best way to spend some "quality step-dad and step-son time" together would be to play with little green plastic army men with you. Just like you used to. Fifteen years ago. If that wasn't bad enough, he still manages to turn it into a step-dad talk about responsibility. Please, Step-Dad, if we're out in a public place, just walk like 20 feet behind me.

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