Honestly, your new giant sitter has his head up his ass even more than your giant step-dad. He gorged himself on candy, and now he's complaining that his butt hurts. Is it all gummed up? Jesus. Now he wants you to climb up and inspect his butthole. He pulls off his gay underwear and you do your best to see if there's anything obviously wrong, but the only thing that's obvious is that this guy is a total moron. He decides to take a nap with his ass up in the air. You've had it. Fuck this. This is your chance to escape. You're out of here. Now, to reach the doorknob.

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