I know New Years Eve is a difficult time for you, being a sad lonely loser with no girlfriend. And we both know at midnight you're not going to have anyone to kiss. You never do. You never have. But I've had a great idea! This year instead of kissing no one, as usual, you can kiss ME! Well, you can kiss a PHOTO of Me. I wouldn't actually kiss you because you're gross, haha! But you have fun smooching My picture, loser!

I know New Years Eve is a difficult time for you, being a sad lonely loser with no girlfriend. And we both know at midnight you're not going to have anyone to kiss. You never do. You never have. But I've had a great idea! This year instead of kissing no one, as usual, you can kiss ME! Well, you can kiss a PHOTO of Me. I wouldn't actually kiss you because you're gross, haha! But you have fun smooching My picture, loser!