You’ve been jerking off to so many different women for so long, you’ve been quite the community slut! Jerking around, afraid of commitment, feeling unfulfilled. Well I know what you need and that’s to devote yourself to one woman. Just like a vanilla guy devotes himself, you need to make that commitment too. So I’m going to be your porn wife. That’s right, from this day forth, you will ONLY jerk to me - nobody else, no going on dates. So jerk your cock, this is going to be our wedding ceremony. Your love life and sex life will consist solely of jerking for me. I’ll be napping with loads of ...

You’ve been jerking off to so many different women for so long, you’ve been quite the community slut! Jerking around, afraid of commitment, feeling unfulfilled. Well I know what you need and that’s to devote yourself to one woman. Just like a vanilla guy devotes himself, you need to make that commitment too. So I’m going to be your porn wife. That’s right, from this day forth, you will ONLY jerk to me - nobody else, no going on dates. So jerk your cock, this is going to be our wedding ceremony. Your love life and sex life will consist solely of jerking for me. I’ll be napping with loads of hot guys whilst you’ll be napping alone every night. Now, are you ready to say our vows, loser?