I made Dumbo take me shopping, and I didn't go light on his credit card. In fact, I made him buy over $500 in luxury items for me. He follows me around at Neiman Marcus, Nordstroms, and Lululemon while I worship myself for being such a pretty, boss ass bitch.

The only times I acknowledge his existence is when I'm publicly humiliating him. I say some pretty fucked up things and make sure he's entertaining me while I run up his credit card bill. I know you all totally wish this could be you!