(This audio is best experienced in a dark room with headphones)

Welcome to Planet Goonhaven! A far away planet overflowing with otherwordly women who will go to great lengths to keep their planet alive! You see, Planet Goonhaven has been running out of energy, and there's only one thing that can replenish the energy reserves.

That's YOU, gooner! You are the solution to the power shortage on Planet Goonhaven! So, you've been captured overnight and brought to a lab facility on Planet Goonhaven, where the head of operations introducing you to your new life! You might as well ...

(This audio is best experienced in a dark room with headphones)

Welcome to Planet Goonhaven! A far away planet overflowing with otherwordly women who will go to great lengths to keep their planet alive! You see, Planet Goonhaven has been running out of energy, and there's only one thing that can replenish the energy reserves.

That's YOU, gooner! You are the solution to the power shortage on Planet Goonhaven! So, you've been captured overnight and brought to a lab facility on Planet Goonhaven, where the head of operations introducing you to your new life! You might as well stop trying to struggle. You soon realize you can't move and have a strange device attached to your goonstick, but don't worry!

Planet Goonhaven has endless delights to offer, just look out the window in front of you! Beautiful, bouncing, dancing, supernatural women . . almost humanlike, but better. Designed to trigger you and keep you triggered once conditioned for them! It's ALMOST like you aren't bound and helpless in an otherwordly lab, right? Besides, your brain is slowly melting away and things are seeming better by the moment!

Lay back, close your eyes and surrender to your time on Planet Goonhaven!