It’s hard finding the right gifts for people this time of year, isn’t it? Luckily for you, I’m easy. All I want is all the money in your bank account. Put aside a little bit for your bills and some ramen, but send the rest of it to me. I mean, what good is it going to do you just sitting around gathering dust? I know you love that rush you get when you see your bank accounts empty, almost like you’ve given up everything for me. You don’t love it because you think you’re some pathetic worm, you love it because you love worshipping me and know I deserve it more than you.