So you're all here because I was told to explain the next season of sports, safety procedures, teamwork, and... yada yada yada... I don't think it really matters. I don't think anyone really cares what I say to begin with, so let's move on from all that. As far as recruitment is concerned, I will be doing things differently this year. As your new gym teacher, I have a different idea about weeding out players. Dick size matters. It tells me what kind of man you will be out there on the field.

I don't need any little dick sissy faggots on my team. We are going to win this year! There...

So you're all here because I was told to explain the next season of sports, safety procedures, teamwork, and... yada yada yada... I don't think it really matters. I don't think anyone really cares what I say to begin with, so let's move on from all that. As far as recruitment is concerned, I will be doing things differently this year. As your new gym teacher, I have a different idea about weeding out players. Dick size matters. It tells me what kind of man you will be out there on the field.

I don't need any little dick sissy faggots on my team. We are going to win this year! There is no need for any more failure because of the recruitment process, which chooses to not recognize that dick size is a valid measurement of manliness in sporting events. Okay everyone, drop your pants... You, what's your problem? Pull them down. NOW... Because I said so. I'm big, you're little. Go on, do it now.