I need someone to be my ashtray. I love chainsmoking, but the ash just gets everywhere and the butts are annoying to deal with. Don't you want to be the one? My human ashtray. It's what you're good for. This is a realistic look into what it would be like, to be used and dirtied by me. Of course, you get to admire me as I smoke and drop ash into your mouth, but I also talk about this arrangement. A good human ashtray doesn't talk back, even as I end our little conversation by putting out my cigarette on your tongue.