Today is your parents' anniversary but unfortunately I couldn't make it because of my TOILET PROBLEMS. Yeah again, I got stuck for hours in the fucking bathroom on the damned pot. I mean sweety, I tried my best to make it on time for celebration but I just couldn't ... couldn't make it at all! It took me too long to CLEAN MY BOWELS and I admit it!

I mean honey, if you want to break up with me you'd better do it. I don't think I will ever change. It's just the way I'm ... INCONTINENT!!! My LIFE revolves around fucking TOILET s. I know sweetheart, you hate it but I LOVE it!! And that...

Today is your parents' anniversary but unfortunately I couldn't make it because of my TOILET PROBLEMS. Yeah again, I got stuck for hours in the fucking bathroom on the damned pot. I mean sweety, I tried my best to make it on time for celebration but I just couldn't ... couldn't make it at all! It took me too long to CLEAN MY BOWELS and I admit it!

I mean honey, if you want to break up with me you'd better do it. I don't think I will ever change. It's just the way I'm ... INCONTINENT!!! My LIFE revolves around fucking TOILET s. I know sweetheart, you hate it but I LOVE it!! And that's the MAIN DIFFERENCE between us. Yeah, I bet you are right ... we'd better BREAK UP while I'm still on the pot because of our irreconcilable differences. But hey honey, before we SPLIT UP ... can you be so nice and bring over to my place TOILET PAPER. Yeah, I've run out of toilet paper and I have nothing to WIPE MY ASS with ... unless .........

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