It's fucking pathetic that you're still a virgin and you KNOW it! But what if I told you I could release the stress and pressure you feel in trying to lose your virginity? Instead of desperately trying to find someone willing to fuck your micropenis, you will instead PLEDGE to remain a virgin for LIFE, all for ME! You will remain a virgin and instead focus your time on GOONING as MUCH as possible for ME! Not a virgin? Well, you don't really get laid more than twice a year anyway, so you might as well become a born again virgin for Me....