I picked out the biggest from the batch in the produce section – what can I say, I like my first experiences to be memorable - go big, or go home! It doesn’t take me long to get all worked up about fucking it after I bust out the measuring tape to show you its circumference.

I treat this vegetable same as all my other toys, including licking it clean... except, less tongue action and more teeth action, if you catch my drift.

You’re never going to look at a salad the same.

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