I'm so glad I have a fart bitch when I get home from the gym! The only thing that could be better is if I could just bring you to the gym with me and use you during my workout. How hilarious would that be?? I can't think of anything more humiliating than being called over to get down on your knees every time I feel a fart coming while I'm doing squats... But I'm sure you would love it. Let's be honest, that would probably be your favourite way to serve me, wouldn't it? Bury your face in my sweaty yoga pants and sniff, loser.

I'm so glad I have a fart bitch when I get home from the gym! The only thing that could be better is if I could just bring you to the gym with me and use you during my workout. How hilarious would that be?? I can't think of anything more humiliating than being called over to get down on your knees every time I feel a fart coming while I'm doing squats... But I'm sure you would love it. Let's be honest, that would probably be your favourite way to serve me, wouldn't it? Bury your face in my sweaty yoga pants and sniff, loser.