I've got a challenge for you, gooning slut. Think you're up for it? It's a task that will take you all year to complete. Still up for it? Good. I know how much you jerk. Day in and day out, you jerk that nub between your legs.

But I don't think it's enough. I think you could do better. I want you this year to goon and jerk for me for 500 hours. When you do that math, that's about 10 hours a week. I'm sure you can do that, right?

Let's get started.