As you can see, I have a very fancy Valentine’s Day date planned. What do you have planned? Nothing? I’m not surprised. You’ve spent many a Valentine’s Day sad and alone, just jerking by yourself. No beautiful women to take on dates. No one to buy gifts for or receive gifts. It’s just you. Well, not really.

You do have your hand after all. You’ve been in a relationship with your hand for a long time. You should really take better care of your jerking hand. She’s essentially your girlfriend, after all. I want you to really lavish your hand with attention. Really court your... Show more