Alright foot slut. Today is your lucky day. I happen to be wearing my gym shoes and I’ve been working very hard in them all day. Your day is so lucky because you get to sniff them. Sniff them and stroke. This is all the contact with me you deserve. Smelling my stinky shoes and socks are really all you’re good for. This desire of yours defines you.

Now get down and start sniffing.

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