Watch the wheel spin, my pet. I’ve got a little game for you. I’ve written a litany of devious activities on my little game wheel. Here’s how it works. I spin, you do what the wheel says. Seems simple enough, right?

If you’re lucky, the wheel will land on something pleasurable like stroking or edging. But not all options are pleasurable. The wheel may also land on something like a tribute, CBT, or even a terrifying phone call. It’s truly up to the wheel. I’m just here to spin it.

So which will it be? Will you spin to win? Or spin to lose?