Never have I ever had someone so obsessed with my feet that they were willing to get divorced for them. Why stay married when you have a better relationship with your hand and my feet than you ever had with her? My feet slowly became your sex life. You would do anything for them. Hell, you'd probably stand under the altar with them and actually follow through with your vows this time.

My feet are going to cause your divorce, you might as well just give in and accept it. Get the papers ready.