Are you aware of just how butt-fucking-ugly your receding hairline makes you look? How does it feel to be the ugly bald friend? You're glory days are clearly behind you, loser! And it's all thanks to your poor genetics.

I know you wish you could look half as good as I do with a shaved head, but too bad for you, Uggo, you look the complete fucking opposite. Your hair loss has left you unfuckable, unrespected, and overall just a pathetic balding de-masculated loser!