It’s time for us to have that talk, sweetie. I worry about you passing away... you’re just so old, wrinkly, and senile. I just want your belongings to go towards someone who’ll use it good and appreciate it, you know? We both know that you’re a lonely, sad and pathetic old man. No relatives to put in your will, and we have such a great relationship! You send me money, I laugh at you, and we are so happy with it, so why don’t you put MY name in YOUR will so you can still give me EVERYTHING you have when you’re gone? Sounds like a great plan, doesn’t it?