Well, my date went well! She even gave me her room number and asked me to meet her there. But when I enter I find you, a police officer, telling me to „Freeze, perv!“ Oh, I don’t know what I did? Well, haven’t I heard that lying to women on a date is now a felony? And my date was wearing a wire and you listened to everything I told her. And that sounded like a lot of BS. But let’s check. What did I say? “I’m well off financially”? You already looked up my credit report. So not true, especially with me paying for all that online porn! But let’s have a look at my claims about my physical attr...

Well, my date went well! She even gave me her room number and asked me to meet her there. But when I enter I find you, a police officer, telling me to „Freeze, perv!“ Oh, I don’t know what I did? Well, haven’t I heard that lying to women on a date is now a felony? And my date was wearing a wire and you listened to everything I told her. And that sounded like a lot of BS. But let’s check. What did I say? “I’m well off financially”? You already looked up my credit report. So not true, especially with me paying for all that online porn! But let’s have a look at my claims about my physical attributes. “I work out a lot”? You make me take off my shirt and pants. OMG, is that men's shapewear? Caught red handed, fatso! But there is still one thing that can help. If my claim to be “well hung” is true, I’m off the hook. Size matters and makes women forgive a lot. So you make me drop my briefs. And arrest me on the spot. That’s clearly not well hung. No, it’s not a question of definition. Legally, well hung is defined as this! (You present a huge dildo.) And you’ll make sure that I never forget that. Yeah, you’ll strap it on and ram it into my ass. After all, we still have to examine my claim that I “love anal”. Well, you’re quite sure I said that, too. So let’s bend me over and check before doing my perp walk. I might actually thank you later for breaking me in, because you won’t give me my clothes back before throwing me in jail to make sure that my phony ass gets what it deserves.