Welcome home, honey. Do you remember what today is? No..? Figures. Typical man. Today is the day you get to weigh in your new prized piggy! I'm so excited..I can't wait to see what a great job we've done. All those muffins, pizza, cake an other goodies - I am SO fat! I can feel my skin stretching - pulling from opposite sides. I don't need a mirror, I can tel you were all of my stretch marks are.