At some point you looked your wife in the eye and told her that you were always going to be there for her and make sure she is happy. Did you lie to her on purpose? At some point you became a terrible fucking husband and now you're letting her down. Hiding things from her. You're a terrible, poor excuse for a husband. You pretend to love her, stringing her along while you watch porn and hide it from her. You're just afraid that you'll have to go through life alone. What a pathetic, POS.