There are a lot of guys that would love to have a sexy woman strip down and tease while singing happy birthday to them! That sounds amazing, but that doesn't happen to a guy like you. A good looking dude with great friends do this for them, but a loser like you doesn't have friends. You have no one but yourself.

No one says happy birthday to you and there's no way in hell a sexy woman would want to dance for you. Since you can't get a woman to dance for you you're gonna do it for yourself. Get all dressed up, put a birthday song on and give yourself a striptease in the mirror.