You need to embrace and live a lifestyle suitable for a loser like you. But in order to do that, you first have to accept that you ARE, in fact, a loser. It's inescapable, unchangeable... so stop fighting it. Accept what you've always been, what you are now, and what you'll always be: a loser.

Just look into my eyes, listen to my words, and let the subliminal messages sink in...