Just because you're never going to have sex with another woman doesn't mean you won't enjoy pleasure. You'll enjoy plenty of it... but it'll just be you and your hand. Gooning will become a significant part of your loser lifestyle. It'll keep you busy, it'll make you more pathetic. It's the perfect way to occupy time for a disgusting little loser like you.

Just look into my eyes, listen to my words, and let the subliminal messages sink in...