Your loser lifestyle isn't only about what you're embracing. Sure, you're embracing the fact that you're a loser and you're embracing gooning as an important part of your world... but you have to give things up, too. The most important thing you'll be giving up is women. You won't have sex with women anymore. You won't hit on women, you won't ask women out, you won't pester us in any way. You'll have a girlfriend though: porn. Porn will be your girlfriend. Porn will be the only girlfriend you need.

Just look into my eyes, listen to my words, and let the subliminal messages sink in....

Your loser lifestyle isn't only about what you're embracing. Sure, you're embracing the fact that you're a loser and you're embracing gooning as an important part of your world... but you have to give things up, too. The most important thing you'll be giving up is women. You won't have sex with women anymore. You won't hit on women, you won't ask women out, you won't pester us in any way. You'll have a girlfriend though: porn. Porn will be your girlfriend. Porn will be the only girlfriend you need.

Just look into my eyes, listen to my words, and let the subliminal messages sink in...